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Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:41 am
by Peter G
Hello fellow Mixcrafters
I am working on some lyrics but got stuck..
I'm from Sweden and my School English is not helping me out.
If anyone could help me, i would really appreciate it
These are the lines:
- When I touch your beauty skin,
- My love for you begin(s)
The word "begin", should i end it with "s"?
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:00 am
by TrevsAudio
Hi Peter
Yes! The "s" will sound more correct.
The word "beauty" would be more correctly said as "beautiful" in the first line - if it will fit OK.
Hope this helps.
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:57 am
by fredfish
I agree with Trevor, in addition you could also think of
When I touch your beauty
My love for you begins
If you will excuse the pun it brings a different complexion to the composition.
John
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 9:41 am
by Bucktail
If you feel strongly about using the first line you could consider
- When I touch your beauty skin,
- My love for you began
"Began" sounds close enough to rhyme.
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 10:07 am
by Mark Bliss
Another alternative:
Its when I touch your skin
My love for you begins?
Its when I touch your booty.....
No never mind!
Bucktail:
"- When I touch your beauty skin,
- My love for you began
"Began" sounds close enough to rhyme."
Especially with a little southern "twang"!
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:11 am
by Juno
"When i touch your perfect skin
my love for you begins"
Preserves both metrum (edit: well, in English this is called "metre" or "meter") and rhyme.
But, i don't know the skin in question. Is it really perfect? Do you have a picture?
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 12:32 pm
by TrevsAudio
Behave yourself, Juno
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:22 pm
by mick
How about:
My love for you begins.
Whenever I touch your lovely skin.
Or
My love for you always begins
Each time I touch your lovely skin.
I like Mbliss's idea though!
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:58 pm
by Juno
trevlyns wrote:Behave yourself, Juno
Should i go to Sweden to apologise?
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:01 pm
by chibear
I'm still trying to find a rhyme for booty
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:21 pm
by dadabujontomasteel
Our love is funky
But I lost your love
Wherever it may be,
Wherever you have left it.
That's all that I can think of right now!
TTFN,
David
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:59 pm
by Peter G
Thank you so much all,
Now i got a bunch of options to choose from, you will hear the result when the song is done
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 5:26 am
by Mark Bliss
chibear wrote:I'm still trying to find a rhyme for booty
I touched her booty
Now I have a husbands duty
but I never knew
she would be so moody
Theres 2!
Glad to help Peter, I look foward to the result. Might have had more to offer if we had more content/context to contemplate.
Keep it simple, and have fun!
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:16 pm
by songsmith1950
Jut my own thought.
Each time I kiss your beautiful skin
my love begins again and again
Songsmith
Songbird Hill
Re: Need help with lyrics
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 3:39 am
by Tiasdad
My tuppenny worth ...
Each time I touch your beautiful skin
My mind is filled with sin.
Gary