Need help with lyrics

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Peter G
Posts: 44
Joined: Tue May 08, 2012 12:47 am
Location: Sweden

Need help with lyrics

Post by Peter G »

Hello fellow Mixcrafters :)

I am working on some lyrics but got stuck..
I'm from Sweden and my School English is not helping me out.
If anyone could help me, i would really appreciate it :)

These are the lines:
- When I touch your beauty skin,
- My love for you begin(s)

The word "begin", should i end it with "s"?
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TrevsAudio
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Location: Rhode Island

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by TrevsAudio »

Hi Peter

Yes! The "s" will sound more correct.

The word "beauty" would be more correctly said as "beautiful" in the first line - if it will fit OK.

Hope this helps.
Old Dudes Rock!
Trevor
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fredfish
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Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by fredfish »

I agree with Trevor, in addition you could also think of

When I touch your beauty
My love for you begins

If you will excuse the pun it brings a different complexion to the composition.

John
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Bucktail
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Location: NW Wisconsin

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by Bucktail »

If you feel strongly about using the first line you could consider

- When I touch your beauty skin,
- My love for you began

"Began" sounds close enough to rhyme.
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Mark Bliss
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Location: Out there

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by Mark Bliss »

Another alternative:

Its when I touch your skin
My love for you begins?

Its when I touch your booty.....

No never mind! :oops:

Bucktail:
"- When I touch your beauty skin,
- My love for you began
"Began" sounds close enough to rhyme."

Especially with a little southern "twang"! :D
Stay in tune, Mark

My SOUNDCLOUD Page
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Juno
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Location: Amsterdam, Nederland

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by Juno »

"When i touch your perfect skin
my love for you begins"

Preserves both metrum (edit: well, in English this is called "metre" or "meter") and rhyme.

But, i don't know the skin in question. Is it really perfect? Do you have a picture? :wink:
We the undersigned being of sound mind hereby do declare:
'We henceforth pledge ourselves unto the power of the Upper Air'
Doesn't that sound simply super
Zeppelin visions of the future
Of course we all know very well it wouldn't work but what the hell
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TrevsAudio
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Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by TrevsAudio »

Behave yourself, Juno :mrgreen:
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mick
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 10:33 am

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by mick »

How about:
My love for you begins.
Whenever I touch your lovely skin.
Or
My love for you always begins
Each time I touch your lovely skin.

I like Mbliss's idea though!
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Juno
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Location: Amsterdam, Nederland

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by Juno »

trevlyns wrote:Behave yourself, Juno :mrgreen:

:oops:

Should i go to Sweden to apologise? 8)
We the undersigned being of sound mind hereby do declare:
'We henceforth pledge ourselves unto the power of the Upper Air'
Doesn't that sound simply super
Zeppelin visions of the future
Of course we all know very well it wouldn't work but what the hell
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chibear
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Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 7:25 am
Location: Manitoba, Canada

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by chibear »

I'm still trying to find a rhyme for booty
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dadabujontomasteel
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Location: Thorold Canada

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by dadabujontomasteel »

Our love is funky
But I lost your love
Wherever it may be,
Wherever you have left it.

That's all that I can think of right now!

TTFN,

David
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Peter G
Posts: 44
Joined: Tue May 08, 2012 12:47 am
Location: Sweden

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by Peter G »

Thank you so much all,

Now i got a bunch of options to choose from, you will hear the result when the song is done :)
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Mark Bliss
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Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by Mark Bliss »

chibear wrote:I'm still trying to find a rhyme for booty
I touched her booty
Now I have a husbands duty
but I never knew
she would be so moody

Theres 2! :shock:

Glad to help Peter, I look foward to the result. Might have had more to offer if we had more content/context to contemplate.
Keep it simple, and have fun!
Stay in tune, Mark

My SOUNDCLOUD Page
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songsmith1950
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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:48 pm
Location: Kennesaw GA

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by songsmith1950 »

Jut my own thought.

Each time I kiss your beautiful skin
my love begins again and again


Songsmith
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Tiasdad
Posts: 614
Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:29 pm
Location: Tamworth, UK

Re: Need help with lyrics

Post by Tiasdad »

My tuppenny worth ...

Each time I touch your beautiful skin
My mind is filled with sin.

Gary
Gary
“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.” ― Frank Zappa
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